When you begin your year with a goal of achieving a headstand, but life has other plans for you... and surviving the year without dedicating your life to cancer (treatment) becomes the new goal, you kinda wish you'd done more headstand practice!
These past few days/week is probably the least I have looked after myself... at a time when it's going to be paramount to pay attention and put the effort in to my health and well being.
HG and I discovered a lump... so on Saturday 7th July, after being unable to get an appointment with my doctor Thursday or Friday, I went to a walk-in clinic on and was referred for tests at the hospital.
It's barely been a month (Friday 13th July) since I had a Mammogram (ouch) & Ultrasound. They squeezed in a Biopsy of the lump at the same time, so things were sped up slightly, but the 6 day wait still felt like a decade.
HG fell apart that night... he was sure it was Cancer, as they'd done a biopsy too, but I didn't feel emotional just yet and didn't want to panic until we knew for sure. Luckily he had already dealt, mentally, to a degree, and could catch me as I fell apart after speaking to my doctor after work on Thursday 19th July.
I had Ductal Carcinoma. Never do you learn so much about something so fast than when you receive a diagnosis. These things happen to 'other people', including my Mum, 3yrs ago... everyone knows someone who has had cancer - many being breast cancer - and most these days are survivors.
We can't assume things won't happen to us - I feel lucky that as shit as this is, it could be so much fucking worse. Two amazing women I was friends with in UK have died of cancer this year, too soon - so unfair.
It totally sucks.
Anyway, here we are and it'll be 2 weeks tomorrow since my lumpectomy (2nd Aug). The surgeon also removed 3 lymph nodes but both he and my own Dr are away this week, helpfully, so I haven't received the results.
I have an appointment next Wednesday (a week today) with the Cancer Centre - more tests to figure out the right treatment to suit my cancer. I have been told I'll be having chemotherapy, radiotherapy & will be on hormone treatment pills for a few years I suspect. I found some fellow peeps on Instagram who are lifting weights, being healthy etc. a couple of years after their treatment so fingers crossed that this journey doesn't take too much away from me/my lifestyle for too long.
A definite up-side is the increased contact with soooo many lovely friends & family. Random friends from the past have been sending me packages, I get messages checking on me everyday and I am overwhelmed by the love.
Oh yes and I also saw a genetic counsellor and will find out in the next couple of months whether I have a genetic disposition to breast/cancer. If so, new boobs may be in order!
I have to say how AMAZING my wonderful HG has been - picking up the slack all over - he's sleeping well! :P I honestly couldn't ask for a better partner to go through this with - a friend even said the same.My Mum & 3 teenage cousins landed 3 days after the operation. So things have been hectic, but I've squeezed in a few days of rest & plenty of fun.
I cry most days. So much goes around my head. I'm awake in the early hours.
Also, I can only handle not working my muscles for so long. I think some squats, lunges and maybe some gentle yoga are coming up.
I was just getting into movement, swinging from branches & monkey bars :D but that stuff will have to wait for meow.
I've started meditation using the Headspace application - so nice!
I started eating according to Keto (ketosis), following my diagnosis, but after surgery and during famjam visits, have let my discipline slide. Back on it next week!Thanks fer reading. It's partly to get it outta my head.
Hope it's not too boring!
Big Love xXx
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