Anila Kitteon

Anila Kitteon
Sniff the Daffs

Friday, 23 January 2015

I'm sorry if my life choices disappoint you...

Started on 7th November 2014...

I recently commented on a humorous 'childfree' page. I like many of their posts because I can relate, however some people take things too far i.e baby hating.

I like babies, love children and am amused/stimulated/frustrated/amazed by teenagers, however I feel very misunderstood and isolated much of the time; especially now I'm working as a bartender/server. I am (it is believed by the general population, aka my customers, that) I am of the age where I should have offspring and if I don't then it should definitely be on the horizon. A man recently asked me "what else will you have?" when I said HG and I had no intention of reproducing. If pushed, I'll suggest possible adoption... but not for many years and only if we notice a huge child-sized gap in our lives (unlikely).

My gut instinct tells me the most likely occurrence would be to home a child who comes into our lives at the right time for everyone involved. It feels kinda natural but we'll see.

So, getting back on track, my comment was in response to the image to the left. The fact that I had commented, seemingly, (unbeknownst to me) advertised itself on social media site of choice and I received a message from my sister-in-law, asking if I had been child-bashing again... I responded expressing my frustration in the fact that Facebook advertises that stuff in my 'friends'' newsfeeds, without my knowledge or permission, and that I wasn't "child bashing" but merely contributing my own personal experiences (within a forum where I felt understood).

There's not much I keep super private, however being outspoken on this topic and regarding my childfree beliefs has lead to a few precarious predicaments with friends and family in the past. I've found it's easier to stay quiet, although I am me, and therefore this doesn't always happen IRL.

Parents are ridiculously overprotective of their offspring after all.

I realised, recognised and acknowledged recently, that it's a pretty lonely position when 95% of people I speak to about it are baffled. Facial expressions are similar to those in response to being told I live in a pineapple under the sea and have a pet seahorse (ok maybe not quite; I'll work on a better example). I'm in the minority.

Along my journey, I have met the odd person who either feels the same as HG & me (very very few); feels the same but for different reasons (i.e not wanting body stretched) or who understand but still plan to have children themselves. The group of people who I find have the most understanding, respect and admiration are those (usually women) who have had children but maybe earlier than would've planned to, with the 'wrong person' or in a way in which they didn't feel that had full control. The process of creating a child is very simple; it's not rocket science and it doesn't take much thought or intelligence; it's one of our primitive instincts. Mothers have told me that they fully understand my decision and that although they love and by no means regret having their child/ren, if they could go back and have their time again, they would skip having children, or wait until they were ready/with the right partner.

I am crazily lucky to have my life-partner by my side with thoughts and feelings almost exact to mine (we spent a good amount of our first few years together pondering life, birth, death and how to achieve the things we had agreed meant most to us i.e. fun, travel, sex and sleep). Things we don't agree on, we are pretty darn good at discussing and compromising on.

I also feel much less alone when Google finds me like-minded people who care about the planet and future generations enough to bypass having their own children.

"I’m not having kids because I can’t in good conscience contribute to the rapid diminishment of our world. If I were to have kids, their quality of life would be less than mine, and I don’t want to condemn them to that. Surprisingly, I’ve been told that I’m selfish, unwilling to share my life with a child. Look at it this way: I’m leaving more resources for your child."

Another excellent article which shares a few of my notions:

Oh and one more superb read...:


There's a mixture of events happening right now in the lives of those around us. Sometimes, I feel like HG and I are the stable; the consistent variable that adapts but remains a tight, strong unit. A throbbing magnet of positive energy.

Thursday, 22 January 2015

My Splashy Happy Place

Whilst swimming recently, I was thinking of what I love about swimming. I was lucky enough to receive regular swimming lessons as a child and went on to train and race as part of a club. I am not very competitive so was never very into racing; I often came fourth against females younger, faster and much more pressurised by their parents. I always wished there was a medal for fourth. I did earned numerous bronze medals too. I may have owned one silver.

Despite being less than keen on racing, I loved swimming as a sport and an all-body work-out. At 16yrs I left school and attended college. I was being encouraged, by the new swim club manager, to race and he regularly had the whole team practice their sprints and trials to improve their PBs. I became frustrated by this and said to my favourite instructor, with whom I was cheeky and had a good rapport. I requested a lane for those (my friend and I) who wanted to swim recreationally, for exercise, and didn't care for racing. I think there were a regular four of us who swam two or three times a week and paid a reduced club fee. After college, I left to work with Camp America (as a Lifeguard and Swim Instructor) and the recreational team/lane apparently dispersed.

I thoroughly enjoyed my most recent swim, as I do every time I swim after a long break and enjoy feeling my muscles ache over the following couple of days. This time, as I pounded through the water with smooth precision (haha I'm not that big-headed, I just though that sentence sounded cool!)... where was I?! Oh yeah, whilst swimming, I thought about the things I LOVE about swimming:

* It's a natural massage for your body as the water provides a gentle resistance
* No equipment necessary; all you need is your own body

* It can save your life or take it - knowing how to deal with and feeling comfortable in water can prevent drowning
* Adventure & Surprise - I was told after swimming laps in the Indian Ocean (whilst volunteering with dolphins at Monkey Mia, Western Australia) that a dolphin had been swimming beside me as I swam.
* Other reasons I thought of whilst swimming but forget now I can log them!
* It's my happy place - I feel so free when I swim

The time before this aforementioned swim sesh, I swam in Lake Simcoe, between two floating buoys on a final random blast of warmth which followed a cool period. Everybody flocked to the beach. I had to work at 6pm but massively enjoyed the swim; the lake was still warmer than the sea and less salty! Hold On.... the salty memory reminds me that I did actually have the pleasure of swimming in the sea at St Pete's in Florida in November. The other thing I love about swimming is that it can be cost-free.

I'm losing concentration (I have four started and unfinished blog posts >,<).
I've tried desperately to find some relevant photos of my own but without luck (or access to external hard-drive) as yet.

Thanks for stopping by.