Falling Up Hill

I'm not one for wishing my life away.

Chemo #1 was a week ago (tomorrow). Yesterday and today are Tom's days off. It was so nice to have him in bed with me & around after 4 days of him having to work. I cried, scared for our sex life... it's such a huge connecting part of us - brings us back together whenever we're off kilter and after 12yrs, it's still amazing. Sorry - TMI. WTF. IDGaS. My blog. 😝

There are so many ins and outs with cancer/chemotherapthy. It's invasive and intrusive.

Knocks you off guard and tests every part of you - no matter how deep.
I'm sure I have not even begun to experience how testing it it going to be for the next few months.

Cancer itself is... whatever - it is our own body performing, growing cells, as it believes it should.
But it doesn't know the cells are attacking our own life source. It's a head fuck.

Chemotherapy (and to follow, radiation & hormone treatment) is the method of treatment that humans/science have found which best treats our cells. By killing fast growing cells, they eliminate the cancer, but also any good cells.  Different drugs cause various symptoms and side effects.  The anti-sickness drugs create other side effects. Which aren't fun, but certainly beat puking until dehydration.

 

I keep realising that... I won't need my hair bands/ties/clips... these thing seem small and silly.

It's more the growing back part of the hair loss that may bug me. My friend had breast cancer/chemo 2 years ago and messaged me this morning with a photo of her cute bob, growing back beautifully.
I'm otherwise semi-excited about losing hair from other parts of my body! 😜



Speaking of which, I haven't managed to find any explicit details on sex during chemo. Because I have been technically pumped with poison, my fluids are potentially dangerous (queue lots of loo cleaning) and also, due to my "compromised immune system", I must also practice being more of a germophobe.

So condoms are a requirement, but it's the oral/foreplay/relaxed nature of our love that we will need to tweak. 


Ever feel like you're living someone else's life?

In other news, we are LOVING autumn/fall! 🍁

   

  

 

Chemo? Sweet...

I checked out the chemo suite today... it's two rooms, adjoining and there's a calm atmosphere. It's at the top of the hospital which gives a lovely view of roofs & trees. 🌲

I was there to have my portacath re-dressed. It was implanted (under my skin on left side, below collar bone) on 25th September; 8 days ago under local anesthetic and I was excited(?) to get to see it! All healing well, chemo will commence in 6 days time!

A portacath is a round device with a valve, attached to a line/catheter that is threaded into a vein and goes down into the heart. It can be used to give IV fluids, blood transfusions, chemotherapy & other drugs; it can also be used to take blood. It can stay in as long as is needed (must be used or flushed monthly).

I met the 3 Oncology Nurses and they happily answered my questions. Every single one of the workers - Volunteers, Nurses, Doctors etc etc. have been totally lovely actually. 💖

I learnt that I am currently "Chemo Niave", or as I like to say, a Chemo Virgin 😜, as my blood is still pure (lol) and hasn't yet been affected by chemotherapy (or as I like to call it, poison).

So here's my port after insertion and today... 

  

At the weekend, I joined a 5km walk called Race for the Cure; raising awareness & money for breast cancer etc. I knew I'd be with HG, Dad & his lady but wasn't aware 3 of their friends would be joining and then, once walking, was handed a phone to speak to Dad's Lady's son, daughter & their partners & pup - who were also walking in their town, Winnipeg!! Wowzer. Such love & support!

Here is my crew, warming up!!

  

Here is my boi & me on a delicious rainy walk. 💚
  

 

I'm feeling good - as good as I can be, with chemo approaching.

I was invited for a run this evening... I do feel like I need to do something before Tuesday, but don't want to disrupt the port either. I plan to get outside before every chemo treatment and be as active as I can during. Fingers crossed! ✌👍👌

Take care peeps xx

PS I couldn't wash my hair after the port op so I eventually went to the hairdresser... whilst there, I she gave me an undercut & snipped off 4 inches! :)

I've attended a Chemo Class and also a Look Good, Feel Better workshop.
So lucky!